| Version 1 - Draft |
Version 2 - Corrected |
Comment Types of Errors |
| I am Kareena Kapoor. As an undergraduate student, I am pursuing second year of B.A(Hons.) in French Language from Department of Germanic and Romance Studies, Delhi University. I have developed strong written as well as oral skills in English and French. As a foreign language student my focus is to improve my analytical, business, communication, marketable skills in the global economy. |
I am Kareena Kapoor, pursuing second year of B.A. (Hons.) in French language from the Department of Germanic and Romance Studies, Delhi University. I have developed a strong written as well as oral skill in English and French. As a foreign language student, my focus is to improve my analytical, business, communication and marketable skills in the global economy. |
Repetition of phrase, put space after B.A., wrong quantity of noun, omission of punctuation, omission of conjunction "and" |
| According to me, the study of foreign languages teaches us to respect the other people. It fosters an understanding of the interrelation of language and human nature. |
According to me, the study of foreign languages teaches us to respect other people. It fosters an understanding of the inter-relation of language and human nature. |
Omission of an article "the", adding hyphen "-" |
| I regularly assess my speaking skills through online activities provided by BBC. I am a great fan of Jules Verne. I read his lot of books. Recently I am reading (Deux ans de vacances). I love to listen and sing French music and I read many newspapers of French to expand my vocabulary. I practice all this so that I can put my knowledge into practice like in Branding, Market Research, Sales etc. |
I regularly assess my speaking skill through online activities provided by BBC. A lot of Jules Verne’s books fascinates me, recently I am reading “Deux ans de vacances.” My hobbies include singing French songs and reading French newspapers to expand my vocabulary so I can put in application my knowledge into practice like in Branding, Market Research, Sales, etc. |
Wrong quantity of "skills", Improvement in syntax, adding a comma before "etc", Changing of brackets into double apostrophes. |
| I have a keen interest in yoga and contemporary dance. I have attained many felicitations for the same. |
I have a keen interest in yoga and contemporary dance, these permit me to gain many felicitations for the same. |
Improvement in sentence |
| I want to do internship in Modlingua to adapt myself in corporate world and it will give me an opportunity to meet different managers, with diverse leadership styles. Having an internship will definitely be something that will transform my life and give me a new perspective. I want to be a part of this reputed firm and utilize my skills for growth of this firm |
My interest in doing the internship in Modlingua would make me more apt to adapt myself in corporate world and it will give me an opportunity to meet different managers with diverse leadership styles. Having an internship will definitely be something that will transform my life and give me a new perspective in thinking. I want to be a part of this reputed firm and utilize my skills for the growth of this firm. |
Adding more appropriate words, addition of an article "the", missing full stop at the end of the sentence. |
| Since childhood, I have a great interest in learning new languages but French appealed to me the most. I am studying French since 8 years and from that moment I just knew what I wanted to do with my life, and now I am pursuing it. I was greaty influenced by the French culture which has contributed to the world like democracy, human rights. Someone said me that (One language sets you in a corridor for life but Two languages open every door along the way) from that day my interest in French grew a lot. I was the first prize winner in French quiz competition in 2012, this victory boosted my confidence so I participated in each and every competition of my school to widen my experience and knowledge. |
Since childhood, I have a great interest in learning new languages but French appealed to me the most. I have been studying French for 8 years and from that moment I just knew what I wanted to do with my life. I was greatly influenced by the French culture which has contributed to the world like democracy and human rights. Someone told me that “One language sets you in a corridor for life but Two languages open every door along the way”, from that day my interest in French grew a lot. I was the first prize winner in French quiz competition in 2012, this victory boosted my confidence so I participated in each and every competition of my school to widen my experience and knowledge. |
Change of tenses in "I am" into "I have been", Change since into for, omission of unnecessary sentence, fixed typo in "greaty", put a conjunction "and", quotes fixed not in brackets, adding a comma after quote. |
| After finishing class 12th, Treading towards my ambition, I decided to do Bachelors in French language from Department of Germanic and Romance studies to see the different aspects of it. My professors encouraged me a lot. I participated in a French creative writing competition in which I got third prize, then next year I participated at Francophone quiz competition in which I got second prize. These victories incite me to work more hard towards my studies. |
After finishing class 12th, treading towards my ambition, I decided to do my BA in this field to see the different aspects of it. My professors encouraged me a lot. I participated in a French creative writing competition in which I got the third prize, then next year I participated at Francophone quiz competition in which I got the second prize. These victories incite me to work harder towards my studies. |
Fixed capital letter in "Treading" into normal letter after comma, rephrasing unnecessary sentence, adding the before prize changing "more hard" into "harder". |
| My second goal, is to become a good translator. I want to get a Multicultural Experience, Being a translator means I’ll be a person who straddles with multiple worlds. That’s going to put me in touch with people from all over the world like learning about different ways of life, perhaps trying new foods, and experiencing the nuances of culture that people who simply travel to other countries don’t always get. In short, I want to be a cultural ambassador. |
My second goal, is to become a good translator. I want to get a multicultural experience and being a translator means I will be a person who straddles with multiple worlds. That is going to put me in touch with people from all over the world, like learning about different ways of life, perhaps trying new foods, and experiencing the nuances of culture in which people who simply travel to other countries do not always get. In short, I want to be a cultural ambassador. |
Capital letter fixed "multicultural experience", "being", omission of abbreviations in "I'll, That's, don't", put a punctuation after world, changing of "that" into "in which". |
| Being passionate about social work, I want to be a successful naturopathy doctor. In today’s world we all are living on artificial food (Junk Food) Several research studies have shown that fast foods cause memory and learning process, With so many of daily calories eaten at work can effect the productivity. So, I want to cure people with Naturopathy, which is a distinct type of primary care medicine that blends age-old healing traditions like office yoga , water and nutrition with scientific advances and current research. It was used widely in ancient cultures, including Egypt, Persia, China, India, and Israel, before it was well established as the traditional European water cure. |
Being passionate about social work motivates me to be a successful naturopathy doctor. In today’s world we all are living on artificial food (Junk Food). Several research studies have shown that fast food degrades memory and learning process, with so many of daily calories eaten at work can affect the productivity. So, I want to cure people with naturopathy. |
Rephrasing the sentence, putting a full stop after a sentence in "Junk Food", changing the word "cause" into "degrades", capital letter fixed in "With". Wrong verb fixed in "effect" into "affect", common noun fixed in "Naturopathy", omission of unnecessary details. |
